gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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