and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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