Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
