Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
