he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Drake has all the answers
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
