Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
