Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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