i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
