i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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