I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
