There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
