we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I cut my penus on the lid.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
