My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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