It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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