remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
