question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
