There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
did i just pee glitter
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
