That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
