Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
