I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
