we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
