Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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