this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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