I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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