I want to walk on stilts...naked
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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