our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
