I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
