I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
