Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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