So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
