if i can run in heels then i can drive
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
