my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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