I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
