Say something about gay babies.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
