So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
