At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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