I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
