her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
