i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
