So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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