what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
