what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
