i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
