can u get pink eye on your cock?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
