dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
