well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
