Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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