Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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