I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
