Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
