check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
